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Communication skills- Self Assessment tool

communication skills

Communication skills- Self assessment tool

The Importance of Communication in Our Daily Life

Communication is one of the most fundamental aspects of human existence. From the moment we are born, we express needs and emotions through sounds, gestures, and later through words. Communication is the lifeline that connects individuals, cultures, and societies. It is not just the transmission of words, but also of ideas, emotions, and intentions. In today’s interconnected world, effective communication is more important than ever, shaping our personal relationships, professional success, education, culture, and even health.

  1. Communication as the Core of Human Interaction

Human beings are social creatures, and communication is the foundation of socialization. It helps build relationships, create understanding, and foster cooperation. Even silence, gestures, and facial expressions convey meaning. Through communication, individuals express their identities, share experiences, and negotiate differences. Without effective communication, misconceptions and conflicts easily arise, while clarity and empathy foster harmony.

  1. Personal Relationships and Emotional Well-being

In personal life, communication is the glue that binds relationships. Friends, families, and couples rely on open and empathetic dialogue to strengthen bonds. Expressing appreciation, offering support, and, importantly, listening attentively are essential aspects of emotional connection. Poor communication is one of the primary reasons behind strained family ties and failed marriages. Conversely, active listening, empathy, and respectful expression of feelings cultivate trust, reduce misunderstandings, and enhance emotional well-being. Good communication is, therefore, a key determinant of happiness and long-term satisfaction in relationships.

  1. Professional Success- Communication in the workplace

In the workplace, communication is a vital competency. Employers consistently emphasize communication as one of the most desirable skills in employees. Whether it is writing persuasively, giving presentations, negotiating contracts, or collaborating with colleagues, effective communication directly impacts productivity and career progression. Leaders must inspire, coordinate, and resolve conflicts through clear and motivational messages. Likewise, employees who communicate confidently and respectfully are better equipped to influence decisions, climb career ladders, and establish professional credibility. In globalized businesses, intercultural communication has also become critical, requiring sensitivity to cultural differences and appropriate adaptation of style.

  1. Education and Lifelong Learning

Education itself is a process of communication. Teachers transmit knowledge, inspire curiosity, and cultivate thinking through the art of explanation, discussion, and questioning. Students who master communication skills perform better academically, as they can articulate questions, present ideas, and collaborate effectively in group learning. Beyond the classroom, communication is central to lifelong learning—books, lectures, and digital platforms all depend on the ability to convey information clearly. Critical thinking and creativity also flourish in environments where open dialogue is encouraged.

  1. Civic Engagement and Social Harmony

Communication is equally important in civic life. Democratic societies thrive when citizens can express opinions, debate policies, and hold leaders accountable. Public discourse, when respectful and inclusive, empowers communities and helps resolve conflicts peacefully. Social activists rely on communication to raise awareness about issues such as climate change, human rights, and public health. Media and digital platforms amplify voices, but they also pose challenges: misinformation spreads as quickly as truth. Hence, strengthening media literacy and ethical communication practices is vital for social harmony.

  1. Health and Wellness

The relationship between communication and health should not be underestimated. In healthcare, accurate communication between doctors, nurses, patients, and families is crucial for diagnosis, treatment, and emotional support. Miscommunication can lead to errors, distress, and even loss of life. On a personal level, expressing fears, anxieties, and hopes is therapeutic and promotes mental well-being. Support groups, counseling, and wellness programs all revolve around safe and effective exchanges of feelings and ideas.

  1. Digital Age and Communication Challenges

We live in a digital age where communication has transcended boundaries of time and geography. Social media, emails, video calls, and instant messaging have connected people like never before. Yet, these tools present unique challenges. Messages sent quickly and without context are prone to misunderstanding. Superficial exchanges sometimes replace meaningful conversations. The absence of non-verbal cues in text communication reduces empathy and increases misinterpretation. Hence, while technology provides unprecedented opportunities, it also requires individuals to be more careful, empathetic, and deliberate in their interactions.

  1. Building Core Communication Skills

Given its central role in life, developing effective communication skills must be a lifelong pursuit. Core elements include:

  1. Active Listening – Paying full attention, avoiding interruptions, and giving feedback that shows understanding.
  2. Clarity and Brevity – Expressing thoughts in simple, precise, and structured language.
  3. Empathy – Understanding and acknowledging the feelings and perspectives of others.
  4. Confidence – Presenting ideas with assurance while remaining open to dialogue.
  5. Adaptability – Adjusting tone and style depending on the audience and context.
  6. Non-verbal Awareness – Using eye contact, gestures, posture, and facial expressions to reinforce spoken messages.
  7. Feedback and Reflection – Seeking and giving constructive feedback for continuous improvement.

These skills can be honed through practice, training, and mindful observation of everyday interactions.

  1. Overcoming Barriers to Communication

Despite its importance, communication often falters due to barriers such as language differences, cultural misunderstandings, noise (literal and metaphorical), and psychological states like stress or prejudice. Overcoming these barriers requires patience, openness, and strategic effort. Learning new languages, practicing cultural sensitivity, and cultivating emotional intelligence are effective ways to improve. In personal life, setting aside distractions and creating intentional opportunities for meaningful conversations can strengthen bonds and prevent alienation.

  1. Communication and Leadership

Leadership and communication are inseparable. Great leaders, from historical figures to contemporary managers, inspire followers through vision, empathy, and persuasion. Their speeches, decisions, and informal interactions shape organizational culture and morale. Transparent, inclusive, and compassionate communication fosters trust and motivates people toward collective goals. In contrast, absence of communication or misleading messages erode confidence and disrupt collaboration.

Conclusion

Communication is not a luxury—it is the essence of human life. It shapes our thoughts, relationships, careers, societies, and even health. The ability to listen attentively, speak clearly, write effectively, and connect empathetically is what distinguishes fulfilled individuals and cohesive communities. As the world becomes more interconnected and complex, the stakes of communication continue to rise. By investing in communication skills, we invest in stronger relationships, more meaningful work, healthier societies, and personal growth. In short, communication is the invisible thread that weaves individuals into families, communities, and nations. Strengthening this thread is both a personal responsibility and a social necessity.

We have designed a simple tool for self assessment of your communication skills. In the questionnaire that follows, please answer the following questions honestly- you need not show the result to anyone. But if you answer the questions honestly, you will be able to identify your areas of strength and weaknesses and improve upon the areas where necessary.

Madhav Bhope

Communication Skills Self-Assessment

Communication Skills Self-Assessment

1. Do you tune out people when they say something you don’t want to hear?
2. Do you concentrate on what is being said even if not interested?
3. Do you assume you know what the speaker will say and stop listening?
4. Do you give the appearance of listening when you aren’t?
5. Do you daydream while the speaker is talking?
6. Do you listen for main ideas, not just facts?
7. Do you repeat in your own words what the speaker has said?
8. Do you restate instructions to ensure you understood?
9. Do you allow the speaker to vent negative feelings without becoming defensive?
10. Do you listen without judging or criticizing?
11. Do you think about what you want to accomplish before speaking?
12. Do you plan the best time to say what you want to say?
13. Do you consider the best medium (speech, email, notes) to deliver communication?
14. Do you take notes when necessary to help remember important info?
15. Do you think about how the other person might react to what you say?
16. Do you recognize that words may mean different things to different people?
17. Do you understand which words or phrases trigger emotions in you?
18. Do you think about the kind of person you are talking to (hostile, rushed, etc)?
19. Do you usually "get through to" the other person effectively?
20. Do you reflect afterward on how effective your communication was?

I am Ok, You are Ok

I am Ok, You are Ok!

 I am ok, You are ok.

In the journey of life, we are often our own biggest mystery. We react in ways that surprise us, engage in patterns that feel familiar yet unproductive, and hold beliefs about ourselves and others that seem to dictate our destiny. What if there was a framework to help us understand these underlying forces? What if a simple quiz could offer a glimpse into the very core of our being?

This is the promise of the Life Position Quiz, a tool rooted in the profound and accessible field of Transactional Analysis (TA). Far more than a passing fad in pop psychology, TA is a robust theory of personality, a framework for understanding human behavior, and a method for personal change. It provides a simple yet powerful lens through which to examine our interactions and, most importantly, our internal world.

The Foundation: What Is Transactional Analysis?

Transactional Analysis, pioneered by psychiatrist Eric Berne in the mid-20th century, is a theory that suggests our personality is composed of three “ego states”: the Parent, the Adult, and the Child. These aren’t roles we play, but rather distinct, observable patterns of behavior, thought, and feeling.

The Parent ego state is a collection of attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors we have absorbed from our parents or other authority figures. It functions like a massive tape recording, playing back the lessons, rules, and criticisms we learned in our formative years. It can be nurturing and supportive (Nurturing Parent), or critical and judgmental (Critical Parent). This part of us says, “You should do this,” or “That’s not how it’s done.”

The Child ego state is the part of us that holds all our emotions and feelings from childhood. It is the spontaneous, playful, and creative side, but also the emotional, rebellious, and dependent part. When we are in our Child state, we might feel joy, sadness, fear, or frustration just as we did when we were young. It can be Adaptive (conforming to expectations) or Free (uninhibited and spontaneous).

Finally, the Adult ego state is our logical, rational, and objective self. It’s the “here and now” data processor. The Adult state is not emotional or judgmental; it’s like a computer, evaluating information and making decisions based on facts and reason. Its primary function is to mediate between the demanding Parent and the impulsive Child, providing a balanced and realistic perspective.

Transactional Analysis posits that all our interactions, or “transactions,” are a series of exchanges between these ego states. By analyzing which ego state is active in any given moment, we can gain invaluable insights into our communication patterns, conflicts, and life choices.

The Cornerstone: Thomas Anthony Harris and “I’m OK – You’re OK”

While Eric Berne laid the groundwork, it was his student, psychiatrist Thomas Anthony Harris, who brought Transactional Analysis to the mainstream with his groundbreaking 1967 book, I’m OK – You’re OK. Harris’s work took Berne’s concepts and distilled them into an incredibly accessible framework centered on the idea of life positions.

A life position is a fundamental belief about our own self-worth and the worth of others. These positions are not based on rational thought but are instead deeply ingrained conclusions formed in childhood, often as a result of early interactions with caregivers. Harris identified four primary life positions:

  1. I’m OK – You’re OK: This is the healthy, realistic, and optimal life position. It’s a belief in your own value and the value of others. People in this position are confident, empathetic, and capable of solving problems collaboratively. They see challenges as opportunities and believe in win-win outcomes. This is the goal of personal growth in TA.
  2. I’m OK – You’re not OK: This is the arrogant or superior position. It’s a belief that you are good, but others are flawed or untrustworthy. People in this position are often critical, judgmental, and quick to blame others for problems. This position often stems from a deeply hurt Child ego state that has adopted a critical Parent stance as a defense mechanism.
  3. I’m not OK – You’re OK: This is the depressive or anxious position. It’s a belief that you are flawed or inadequate, but others are competent and worthwhile. People in this position often feel helpless, insecure, and dependent on others for validation. They tend to be self-critical and may struggle with feelings of guilt and shame. This is the most common position adopted in early childhood.
  4. I’m not OK – You’re not OK: This is the hopeless or pessimistic position. It’s a belief that both you and others are worthless. People in this position may feel despair, futility, and a sense of hopelessness about the world. They may isolate themselves and see no point in trying to improve their situation or relationships. This position can lead to deep depression and a complete withdrawal from life.

Harris’s work highlighted that while we may intellectually understand our life position, it’s our subconscious beliefs, driven by our ego states, that truly run the show. The key to freedom lies in becoming aware of this deeply held “script” and consciously choosing a new path.

The Purpose: The Usefulness and Need for the Quiz

So, why is a test like this so valuable? The Life Position Quiz is a direct application of TA’s core principles. It’s not a magical personality test; rather, it’s a series of carefully constructed questions designed to bypass our conscious, “Adult” desire to give the “right” answer. The scenarios presented in the quiz are designed to trigger responses from our deeper, more reactive ego states—specifically, the Parent and the Child.

By asking you to respond to situations that evoke feelings of insecurity, responsibility, or frustration, the quiz bypasses your logical mind and reveals your natural, unedited reaction. Your choices are not right or wrong; they are simply indicators of your preferred, go-to life position. The quiz provides a tangible, scoreable snapshot of where your emotional and psychological center of gravity lies.

This is the “aha!” moment for many people. It’s one thing to hear the theory of Transactional Analysis, but it’s another to see your own behavior quantified. The results give you a glimpse into your inner nature, offering a concrete, data-based understanding of the unconscious beliefs that have been shaping your life. It can explain why you always feel the need to please others, why you’re overly critical of your colleagues, or why you always feel like you’re playing catch-up.

For example, a person with a high “Anxious” score may see themselves as “not OK” and others as “OK.” This might lead them to defer to others constantly, doubt their own instincts, and feel overwhelmed by their own leadership potential. Seeing this pattern emerge from the quiz can be the first step toward consciously challenging that belief.

Beyond the Quiz: The Path to Improvement

The greatest value of this quiz is not just in the results, but in what you do with them. The quiz is a tool for diagnosis, not a life sentence. Transactional Analysis offers a clear and hopeful path forward. The ultimate goal is to move from any of the “not OK” positions to the healthy and productive I’m OK – You’re OK position. This is achieved not by trying to convince yourself you’re OK, but by changing your internal script.

The process of improvement begins with self-awareness. By understanding your ego states and your default life position, you can begin to observe yourself in action. When you feel a wave of anxiety in a meeting, you can ask, “Is my ‘not OK’ Child running the show right now?” When you find yourself criticizing a co-worker, you can ask, “Is my Critical Parent talking?” This observation creates a space between stimulus and response, allowing your rational Adult ego state to step in and take control.

The next step is to re-decide your position. In TA, this is a conscious decision to reject the old, limiting beliefs you formed in childhood. It’s an act of will, a commitment to live from a place of mutual respect and equal value. For someone who has been living with an “I’m not OK” script, this means consciously choosing to trust their own judgment, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. For someone who believes others are “not OK,” it means choosing to approach new people with an open mind and a willingness to see their inherent worth.

This transformation requires practice and patience. It involves actively strengthening your Adult ego state through honest self-reflection, seeking factual information, and learning to separate past emotions from present reality. While the journey is personal, it is not one you have to take alone. A therapist or counselor trained in Transactional Analysis can be an invaluable guide, helping you identify the origins of your life position and work through the outdated “scripts” that are holding you back.

In conclusion, the Life Position Quiz is more than just a test; it’s an invitation to a deeper understanding of yourself. It’s a starting point on the path to genuine self-awareness and sustainable personal growth. By taking a few moments to answer its questions, you open the door to a world where you can finally see your inner nature clearly, challenge your old beliefs, and begin to live from the powerful and empowering position of “I’m OK – You’re OK.”

We bring you the well-known test below. Millions of people have taken the test so far and have benefited from it inconceivable ways. Psychologists around the world use this test.

It’s a journey within us and we have to do it ourselves. We want to take a step on the path of development.

Of course, it is clear that this test is not any kind of psychological or medical advice. The authors of this article are  not qualified practitioners. The best solution is to consult the appropriate experts for any of your problems.

Madhav Bhope

Life Position Inventory /* This CSS is completely self-contained and uses specific classes to prevent any conflicts with your website's global styles. */ body { font-family: Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0; padding: 0; background-color: #f0f4f8; color: #333; } .quiz-container { max-width: 900px; margin: 2rem auto; padding: 2rem; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 12px; box-shadow: 0 4px 15px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); } .quiz-header { text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2rem; } .quiz-header h1 { font-size: 2.5rem; font-weight: bold; color: #1e40af; margin: 0 0 0.5rem; } .quiz-header p { font-size: 1rem; color: #666; } .question-section { display: flex; flex-direction: column; gap: 1.5rem; } .question-card { border: 1px solid #e2e8f0; border-radius: 8px; padding: 1rem; background-color: #f9fafb; } .question-card:hover { box-shadow: 0 2px 8px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.05); } .question-text { font-weight: 600; font-size: 1.1rem; margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #444; } .options-grid { display: grid; grid-template-columns: repeat(auto-fit, minmax(200px, 1fr)); gap: 0.75rem; } .radio-container { display: block; position: relative; cursor: pointer; -webkit-user-select: none; -moz-user-select: none; -ms-user-select: none; user-select: none; padding: 0.75rem; border-radius: 6px; border: 1px solid #cbd5e1; transition: background-color 0.2s, border-color 0.2s; } .radio-container:hover { background-color: #e2e8f0; } .radio-container input { position: absolute; opacity: 0; cursor: pointer; } .radio-checkmark { position: absolute; top: 50%; left: 10px; transform: translateY(-50%); height: 16px; width: 16px; background-color: #eee; border: 1px solid #ccc; border-radius: 50%; } .radio-container:hover input ~ .radio-checkmark { background-color: #ccc; } .radio-container input:checked ~ .radio-checkmark { background-color: #2563eb; } .radio-checkmark:after { content: ""; position: absolute; display: none; } .radio-container input:checked ~ .radio-checkmark:after { display: block; } .radio-container .radio-checkmark:after { top: 4px; left: 4px; width: 8px; height: 8px; border-radius: 50%; background: white; } .radio-label { display: inline-block; margin-left: 28px; /* Space for the custom radio button */ font-size: 0.9rem; line-height: 1.4; } .submit-button { display: block; width: fit-content; margin: 2rem auto 0; padding: 0.75rem 2rem; font-size: 1rem; font-weight: bold; color: #fff; background-color: #2563eb; border: none; border-radius: 8px; cursor: pointer; transition: background-color 0.3s ease; } .submit-button:hover { background-color: #1d4ed8; } .results-section { display: none; margin-top: 3rem; text-align: center; } .results-section h2 { font-size: 2rem; font-weight: bold; color: #1e40af; margin-bottom: 1.5rem; } .quadrant-grid { display: grid; grid-template-columns: repeat(2, 1fr); gap: 1rem; margin-bottom: 2rem; } .quadrant { padding: 1.5rem; border-radius: 12px; box-shadow: 0 2px 8px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.05); } .quadrant.i-not-ok { background-color: #ffe4e6; } .quadrant.you-not-ok { background-color: #e0f2fe; } .quadrant.i-ok { background-color: #d1fae5; } .quadrant.you-ok { background-color: #dbeafe; } .quadrant h3 { font-size: 1.25rem; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0.5rem; } .quadrant p { margin: 0.25rem 0; font-size: 0.95rem; } .score-list-container { display: flex; justify-content: space-around; gap: 2rem; margin-bottom: 2rem; flex-wrap: wrap; } .score-list { list-style-type: none; padding: 0; margin: 0; flex: 1; min-width: 250px; } .score-list li { display: flex; justify-content: space-between; align-items: center; padding: 0.75rem 0; border-bottom: 1px solid #e2e8f0; font-size: 1rem; } .score-list li:last-child { border-bottom: none; } .score-list span:first-child { font-weight: 500; } .score-list-title { font-size: 1.5rem; font-weight: bold; color: #1e40af; margin-bottom: 1rem; text-align: center; }

Life Position Inventory

Mark your choice by ticking the appropriate column for each situation.

Your Life Position Results

Life Position Quadrants

Part I: Category Scores

Part II: Life Position Breakdown

// Array of questions and their corresponding situations const questions = [ "You are new to the assignment but your assistants have been with it for some time. You think that they know more than you.", "You are sure of yourself but not of your subordinates. They can not do much without continuous help from you.", "Your team has initiative and potential. The organisation has to introduce a new procedure.", "The job is difficult and needs coordination. Your assistants are always ready to be with you.", "Your section has a record of poor performance. You are not sure of committing yourself to anything new personally.", "You are facing a lot of criticism from your team about a recent decision. You doubt your judgment.", "A project is behind schedule and you believe it's because your team lacks motivation.", "Your team is highly competent and you trust their decisions completely, even when you are uncertain yourself.", "You have to lead a team that is highly critical of previous leadership. You are cautious about making any moves.", "A new member joins your team and you are unsure if they will fit in. You decide to closely monitor all their work.", "Your team is highly skilled but seems to lack the drive to take on new challenges. You want to inspire them.", "The team has a great track record and you're confident they can handle anything. You let them manage a new, high-stakes project.", "You have to delegate a complex task. You are not sure if your team can handle it without you checking every step.", "A critical deadline is approaching and you are worried your team will fail. You consider taking over the main tasks yourself.", "Your team seems capable, but you're not sure they're as committed as you are. You decide to set very clear, rigid deadlines.", "A new initiative requires a lot of creativity. You trust your team's abilities and give them complete creative freedom.", "Your team has been underperforming. You are not sure of your ability to motivate them and feel that any attempt will fail.", "You have a difficult conversation with a team member who is not meeting expectations. You are nervous about their reaction.", "You need to make a quick decision. You are confident in your team's ability to execute, so you make the call and trust them.", "The team is in a slump. You feel personally responsible and think you are not a good enough leader to get them out of it.", "You are leading a new project. You are optimistic about the team's potential and your own ability to lead them to success.", "Your team is highly experienced. You are comfortable stepping back and letting them lead the way.", "A problem arises and you are sure you have the solution, but you don't trust your team's judgment to see it. You make a unilateral decision.", "You succeed one who was head-strong and who had a poor opinion of his subordinates. You are very unsure of yourself as a leader.", "You are afraid that anything you do will affect the performance of your team adversely." ]; // Column abbreviations and their full names const options = { 'D': "Depressed", 'I': "Injurious", 'S': "Superior", 'P': "Pessimistic", 'A': "Anxious", 'T': "Trusting", 'C': "Confident", 'H': "Hopeless" }; // Option descriptions const optionDescriptions = { 'D': "Don't rush, be careful about your decision/ contribution", 'I': "Be watchful; check them and pull them up", 'S': "Be firm, impress them & take things in your hands", 'P': "Hands off; wait & see. Don't be too optimistic", 'A': "Don't push; see worth in them and support", 'T': "Be trustful; discuss & be with them if they need", 'C': "Be bold; stay together, discuss & lead", 'H': "Leave them alone; be sure of yourself if you intervene" }; const quizContainer = document.getElementById('quizQuestions'); const resultsSection = document.getElementById('results'); // Dynamically create the quiz questions and options function createQuiz() { questions.forEach((question, index) => { const qNum = index + 1; const questionHtml = `

${qNum}. ${question}

${Object.keys(options).map(key => ` `).join('')}
`; quizContainer.innerHTML += questionHtml; }); } // Function to calculate and display the scores function calculateScores() { const scores = {}; // Initialize scores for all options Object.keys(options).forEach(key => scores[key] = 0); let allAnswered = true; questions.forEach((q, index) => { const qNum = index + 1; const selectedOption = document.querySelector(`input[name="q${qNum}"]:checked`); if (selectedOption) { const key = selectedOption.value; scores[key]++; } else { allAnswered = false; } }); if (!allAnswered) { alert('Please answer all questions before calculating your results.'); return; } // Display the quadrant grid const quadrantGrid = document.getElementById('quadrantGrid'); quadrantGrid.innerHTML = `

I am not OK

Depressed: ${scores['D']}

Hopeless: ${scores['H']}

You are OK

Confident: ${scores['C']}

Superior: ${scores['S']}

I am OK

Anxious: ${scores['A']}

Trusting: ${scores['T']}

You are not OK

Pessimistic: ${scores['P']}

Injurious: ${scores['I']}

`; // Display Part I: Category Scores const categoryScoresListCol1 = document.getElementById('categoryScoresListCol1'); const categoryScoresListCol2 = document.getElementById('categoryScoresListCol2'); categoryScoresListCol1.innerHTML = ''; categoryScoresListCol2.innerHTML = ''; const keys = Object.keys(options); keys.forEach((key, index) => { const li = `
  • ${options[key]}: ${scores[key]}
  • `; if (index { const li = `
  • ${position}: ${breakdown[position]}
  • `; breakdownScoresList.innerHTML += li; }); // Show the results section resultsSection.style.display = 'block'; // Scroll to the results resultsSection.scrollIntoView({ behavior: 'smooth' }); } // Call the function to create the quiz on page load createQuiz();

    समजून घ्या तुमचे आंतरिक जग

     

    I am ok, you are ok!

    आयुष्याच्या प्रवासात आपण अनेकदा स्वतःसाठी एक मोठे गूढ असतो. आपण अशा प्रकारे प्रतिक्रिया देतो, ज्यामुळे आपल्यालाच आश्चर्य वाटते. आपण अशा सवयी आणि पद्धतीमध्ये अडकतो ज्या परिचयाच्या असूनही निरुपयोगी वाटतात. आपल्या स्वतःबद्दल आणि इतरांबद्दल काही धारणा असतात ज्या आपल्या नशिबावर नियंत्रण ठेवतात. अशावेळी, आपल्याला या आंतरिक शक्तींना समजून घेण्यासाठी एखादी मदत करणारी चौकट (framework) मिळाली तर? एखाद्या साध्या प्रश्नमंजुषेद्वारे आपल्या व्यक्तिमत्त्वाचा गाभा जाणून घेता आला तर?

    हेच ‘जीवन स्थिती’ प्रश्नमंजुषेचे उद्दिष्ट आहे, जे ट्रान्झॅक्शनल ॲनालिसिस (TA) नावाच्या खोल आणि सोप्या क्षेत्रावर आधारित आहे. TA ही केवळ एक मानसशास्त्रातील तात्पुरती फॅड (fad) नाही, तर ती व्यक्तिमत्त्वाचा एक मजबूत सिद्धांत आहे. हे मानवी वर्तन समजून घेण्यासाठी आणि स्वतःमध्ये बदल घडवून आणण्यासाठी एक प्रभावी चौकट आहे. हे आपल्याला आपले संवाद आणि, सर्वात महत्त्वाचे म्हणजे, आपले आंतरिक जग तपासण्यासाठी एक सोपा पण शक्तिशाली दृष्टिकोन देते.

    पाया: ट्रान्झॅक्शनल ॲनालिसिस म्हणजे काय?

     

    अर्धशतकाच्या मध्यावर, मानसोपचारतज्ञ एरिक बर्ने यांनी ट्रान्झॅक्शनल ॲनालिसिसची सुरुवात केली. त्यांच्या सिद्धांतानुसार, आपल्या व्यक्तिमत्त्वात तीन “अहं-अवस्था” (ego states) आहेत: पालक (Parent), प्रौढ (Adult) आणि बालक (Child). ह्या केवळ भूमिका नाहीत, तर त्या वर्तनाच्या, विचारांच्या आणि भावनांच्या विशिष्ट, ओळखता येण्याजोग्या पद्धती आहेत.

    पालक (Parent) अहं-अवस्था म्हणजे आपल्या आयुष्यातल्या सुरुवातीच्या काळात, पालक किंवा इतर अधिकार असलेल्या व्यक्तींकडून घेतलेल्या शिकवणी, नियम, आणि विचारांचा संग्रह. ही अवस्था एका मोठ्या रेकॉर्डिंगसारखी काम करते, ज्यात आपल्या बालपणात शिकलेल्या गोष्टी आणि नियमांचे पुनरावृत्ती होते. हे आपल्यामध्ये प्रेमळ आणि आधार देणारे (Nurturing Parent) किंवा कठोर आणि टीका करणारे (Critical Parent) असू शकते. हा आपल्या व्यक्तिमत्त्वाचा तो भाग आहे जो म्हणतो, “तू हे केले पाहिजे,” किंवा “असे केले जात नाही.”

    बालक (Child) अहं-अवस्था आपल्या बालपणातील सर्व भावना आणि अनुभवांचा संग्रह आहे. हा आपल्या व्यक्तिमत्त्वाचा उत्स्फूर्त, खेळकर आणि सर्जनशील भाग आहे, पण तोच भावनिक, बंडखोर आणि परावलंबीही आहे. जेव्हा आपण या अवस्थेत असतो, तेव्हा आपल्याला लहानपणी वाटलेल्या भावना, जसे की आनंद, दुःख, भीती किंवा निराशा पुन्हा जाणवू शकतात. हे समायोजनशील (Adaptive – अपेक्षांनुसार वागणारे) किंवा मुक्त (Free – बंधनमुक्त आणि उत्स्फूर्त) असू शकते.

    आणि शेवटी, प्रौढ (Adult) अहं-अवस्था म्हणजे आपला तर्कसंगत आणि वस्तुनिष्ठ स्वभाव. ही अवस्था “आता आणि इथे” डेटाची प्रक्रिया करणारी आहे. प्रौढ अवस्था भावनिक किंवा टीका करणारी नाही; ती एका संगणकासारखी आहे, जी माहितीचे मूल्यांकन करते आणि तथ्यांच्या आधारावर निर्णय घेते. तिचे मुख्य काम मागणी करणारा पालक आणि अविवेकी बालक यांच्यामध्ये समतोल साधणे आणि एक संतुलित व वास्तववादी दृष्टीकोन देणे आहे.

    ट्रान्झॅक्शनल ॲनालिसिस असे मानते की आपले सर्व संवाद, ज्यांना “ट्रान्झॅक्शन” म्हणतात, या अहं-अवस्थांमधील देवाणघेवाणीची मालिका आहे. कोणत्या क्षणी कोणती अहं-अवस्था सक्रिय आहे, हे तपासल्याने आपल्याला आपल्या संवाद पद्धती, वाद-विवाद आणि जीवनातील निवडीबद्दल मौल्यवान माहिती मिळू शकते.

    मूळ आधार: थॉमस ॲन्थनी हॅरिस आणि “मी ठीक आहे – तू ठीक आहेस”

     

    एरिक बर्ने यांनी पाया घातला असला तरी, त्यांचे विद्यार्थी, मानसोपचारतज्ञ थॉमस ॲन्थनी हॅरिस यांनी 1967 मध्ये लिहिलेल्या ‘I’m OK – You’re OK’ या पुस्तकाने ट्रान्झॅक्शनल ॲनालिसिसला लोकप्रिय केले. हॅरिस यांनी बर्नेच्या संकल्पनांना सोप्या पद्धतीने मांडले, ज्याचा केंद्रबिंदू जीवन स्थिती (Life Positions) ही कल्पना होती.

    जीवन स्थिती म्हणजे आपल्या स्वतःच्या आणि इतरांच्या मूल्याबद्दलची एक मूलभूत धारणा. या धारणा तर्कसंगत विचारांवर आधारित नसतात, तर त्या बालपणात, सुरुवातीच्या नातेसंबंधांच्या परिणामामुळे तयार झालेल्या असतात. हॅरिस यांनी चार मुख्य जीवन स्थिती ओळखल्या:

    1. मी ठीक आहे – तू ठीक आहेस: ही सर्वात आरोग्यदायी आणि आदर्श जीवन स्थिती आहे. ही स्वतःच्या आणि इतरांच्या मूल्यावरील विश्वासावर आधारित आहे. या स्थितीतील लोक आत्मविश्वासाने भरलेले, सहानुभूतीशील आणि सहकार्याने समस्या सोडवणारे असतात. ते आव्हानांना संधी मानतात आणि ‘विन-विन’ (दोघांचा फायदा) निकालांवर विश्वास ठेवतात. हेच वैयक्तिक विकासाचे लक्ष्य आहे.
    2.  
    3. मी ठीक आहे – तू ठीक नाहीस: ही एक अहंकारी किंवा श्रेष्ठत्ववादी स्थिती आहे. यात तुमचा स्वतःवर विश्वास असतो, पण तुम्हाला इतरांवर विश्वास नसतो. या स्थितीतील लोक अनेकदा टीका करणारे, न्यायनिवाडा करणारे आणि समस्यांसाठी पटकन इतरांना दोष देणारे असतात. ही स्थिती बालपणातील खोलवर दुखावलेल्या ‘बालक’ अवस्थेतून येते, जी स्वतःच्या संरक्षणासाठी टीका करणाऱ्या ‘पालक’ अवस्थेचा अवलंब करते.
    4.  
    5. मी ठीक नाही – तू ठीक आहेस: ही एक उदासीन किंवा चिंताग्रस्त स्थिती आहे. यात तुम्हाला असे वाटते की तुम्ही अपूर्ण किंवा कमी आहात, पण इतर लोक सक्षम आणि योग्य आहेत. या स्थितीतील लोकांना अनेकदा असहाय्य, असुरक्षित वाटते आणि ते इतरांवर अवलंबून राहतात. ते स्वतःची खूप जास्त टीका करतात आणि त्यांना अपराधीपणाची व लाजिरवाणी भावना जाणवते. बालपणात स्वीकारली जाणारी ही सर्वात सामान्य स्थिती आहे.
    6.  
    7. मी ठीक नाही – तू ठीक नाहीस: ही एक निराश किंवा निराशावादी स्थिती आहे. यात तुम्हाला असे वाटते की तुम्ही आणि इतर दोघेही निरुपयोगी आहात. या स्थितीतील लोकांना निराशा, निरर्थकता आणि जगाबद्दलची निराशा जाणवते. ते स्वतःला इतरांपासून वेगळे ठेवतात आणि आपल्या परिस्थिती सुधारण्याचा प्रयत्न करण्यात काहीच अर्थ नाही असे त्यांना वाटते. ही स्थिती गंभीर नैराश्य आणि जीवनापासून पूर्णपणे दूर जाण्याकडे घेऊन जाऊ शकते.

    हॅरिसच्या कामामुळे हे स्पष्ट झाले की जरी आपण आपल्या जीवन स्थितीला बौद्धिकदृष्ट्या समजून घेतले तरी, आपल्या अहं-अवस्थांद्वारे चालवल्या जाणाऱ्या आपल्या सुप्त धारणाच खरे नियंत्रण करतात. या खोलवर रुजलेल्या ‘स्क्रिप्ट’ (script) बद्दल जागरूक होणे आणि जाणीवपूर्वक एक नवीन मार्ग निवडणे, हीच स्वातंत्र्याची खरी गुरुकिल्ली आहे.

    उद्दिष्ट: प्रश्नमंजुषेची उपयुक्तता आणि गरज

     

    मग, अशा प्रकारची प्रश्नमंजुषा इतकी मौल्यवान का आहे? ‘जीवन स्थिती’ प्रश्नमंजुषा ही TA च्या मुख्य तत्त्वांचा थेट वापर आहे. ही काही जादुई व्यक्तिमत्व चाचणी नाही, तर हे अशा प्रश्नांची मालिका आहे, जी आपल्या ‘प्रौढ’ अहं-अवस्थाला ‘योग्य’ उत्तर देण्याची इच्छा टाळून आपल्या खोलवरच्या प्रतिक्रियाशील अहं-अवस्थांकडून प्रतिसाद मिळवण्यासाठी तयार केली आहे. प्रश्नमंजुषेतील परिस्थिती अशा प्रकारे मांडल्या आहेत, ज्यामुळे असुरक्षितता, जबाबदारी किंवा निराशेच्या भावना जागृत होतात, आणि तुमची नैसर्गिक, विना-संपादित प्रतिक्रिया समोर येते.

    तुमच्या निवडी योग्य किंवा अयोग्य नाहीत; त्या तुमच्या पसंतीच्या, स्वभावातील जीवन स्थितीचे सूचक आहेत. ही प्रश्नमंजुषा तुमच्या मानसिक आणि भावनिक केंद्राचे एक ठोस, मोजता येण्याजोगे चित्र देते.

    हे अनेक लोकांसाठी एक ‘अहा!’ क्षण असू शकतो. ट्रान्झॅक्शनल ॲनालिसिसचा सिद्धांत ऐकणे वेगळे आहे आणि आपल्या स्वतःच्या वर्तनाचे मोजमाप पाहणे वेगळे आहे. निकाल तुम्हाला तुमच्या आंतरिक स्वभावाची झलक देतात, ज्यामुळे तुमच्या जीवनाला आकार देणाऱ्या सुप्त धारणांची एक ठोस, डेटा-आधारित समज मिळते. हे स्पष्ट करू शकते की तुम्हाला नेहमी इतरांना का खुश करायचे असते, तुम्ही तुमच्या सहकाऱ्यांची जास्त टीका का करता किंवा तुम्हाला नेहमी असे का वाटते की तुम्ही मागे पडत आहात.

    उदाहरणार्थ, जास्त ‘चिंताग्रस्त’ गुण असलेली व्यक्ती स्वतःला ‘ठीक नाही’ आणि इतरांना ‘ठीक आहे’ मानू शकते. यामुळे ते सतत इतरांवर अवलंबून राहू शकतात, स्वतःच्या बुद्धिमत्तेवर शंका घेऊ शकतात आणि त्यांच्या नेतृत्वात त्यांना जास्त ताण जाणवू शकतो. जेव्हा प्रश्नमंजुषेच्या निकालात हे पॅटर्न समोर येतात, तेव्हा ती धारणा जाणीवपूर्वक बदलण्याची ही पहिली पायरी असू शकते.

    प्रश्नमंजुषेच्या पलीकडे: सुधारणेचा मार्ग

     

    या प्रश्नमंजुषेचे सर्वात मोठे मूल्य केवळ निकालांमध्ये नाही, तर तुम्ही त्यातून काय शिकता आणि पुढे काय करता, यात आहे. ही प्रश्नमंजुषा केवळ निदानाचे एक साधन आहे, ती तुमच्या आयुष्याची अंतिम मर्यादा नाही. ट्रान्झॅक्शनल ॲनालिसिस एक स्पष्ट आणि आशादायक मार्ग दाखवते. अंतिम ध्येय कोणत्याही ‘ठीक नाही’ स्थितीपासून ‘मी ठीक आहे – तू ठीक आहेस’ या आरोग्यदायी आणि सकारात्मक स्थितीकडे जाणे आहे. हे स्वतःला पटवून देण्याचा प्रयत्न करून साध्य होत नाही, तर आपल्या आंतरिक ‘स्क्रिप्ट’मध्ये बदल करून साध्य होते.

    सुधारणेची प्रक्रिया आत्म-जागरूकतेने सुरू होते. तुमच्या अहं-अवस्था आणि तुमच्या मूळ जीवन स्थितीला समजून घेऊन, तुम्ही स्वतःला कृतीत पाहणे सुरू करू शकता. जेव्हा तुम्हाला मीटिंगमध्ये चिंतेची लाट येते, तेव्हा तुम्ही स्वतःला विचारू शकता, “माझी ‘मी ठीक नाही’ बालक अवस्था आत्ता हे नियंत्रित करत आहे का?” जेव्हा तुम्ही तुमच्या सहकाऱ्याची टीका करताना स्वतःला पकडता, तेव्हा तुम्ही विचारू शकता, “माझा ‘टीका करणारा पालक’ बोलत आहे का?” हे निरीक्षण तुमच्या प्रतिसादाला आणि उत्तेजनाला वेगळे करते, ज्यामुळे तुमची तर्कसंगत प्रौढ अहं-अवस्था पुढे येऊन नियंत्रण मिळवू शकते.

    पुढील पायरी म्हणजे आपल्या स्थितीचा पुन्हा निर्णय घेणे. TA मध्ये, हा आपल्या बालपणात तयार झालेल्या जुन्या, मर्यादा घालणाऱ्या धारणांना नाकारण्याचा जाणीवपूर्वक घेतलेला निर्णय आहे.

     हा एक ठाम निश्चय आहे, जो समान आदर आणि मूल्यावर आधारित आहे. ‘मी ठीक नाही’ या स्क्रिप्टमध्ये जगणाऱ्या व्यक्तीसाठी, याचा अर्थ असा आहे की स्वतःच्या निर्णयावर जाणीवपूर्वक विश्वास ठेवणे, जरी ते सुरुवातीला अस्वस्थ वाटले तरी. जे लोक इतरांना ‘ठीक नाही’ मानतात, त्यांच्यासाठी याचा अर्थ आहे नवीन लोकांशी मोकळ्या मनाने संवाद साधणे आणि त्यांच्यातील मूळ चांगुलपणाला पाहणे.

    हे परिवर्तन करण्यासाठी सराव आणि संयम आवश्यक आहे. यात प्रामाणिक आत्मपरीक्षणाद्वारे, तथ्यात्मक माहिती मिळवून आणि भूतकाळातील भावनांना वर्तमानातील वास्तवापासून वेगळे शिकून, आपल्या प्रौढ अहं-अवस्थाला सक्रियपणे मजबूत करणे समाविष्ट आहे.

     हा वैयक्तिक प्रवास असला तरी, तो एकट्याने करण्याची गरज नाही. ट्रान्झॅक्शनल ॲनालिसिसमध्ये प्रशिक्षित असलेला थेरपिस्ट किंवा समुपदेशक तुम्हाला तुमच्या जीवन स्थितीचा उगम शोधण्यात आणि तुम्हाला मागे खेचणाऱ्या जुन्या स्क्रिप्ट्समधून बाहेर पडण्यास मदत करू शकतो.

    थोडक्यात, ‘जीवन स्थिती’ प्रश्नमंजुषा ही फक्त एक चाचणी नाही; हे स्वतःला अधिक खोलवर समजून घेण्यासाठी एक आमंत्रण आहे. हे आत्म-जागरूकतेच्या आणि वैयक्तिक विकासाच्या मार्गावरील एक सुरूवातीचे टोक आहे. काही क्षण देऊन या प्रश्नांची उत्तरे दिल्यावर, तुम्ही तुमच्या आंतरिक स्वभावाला स्पष्टपणे पाहू शकता, तुमच्या जुन्या धारणांना आव्हान देऊ शकता आणि ‘मी ठीक आहे – तू ठीक आहेस’ या शक्तिशाली आणि सक्षम स्थितीतून जगणे सुरू करू शकता.

    खाली दिलेली सुप्रसिद्ध चाचणी आम्ही तुमच्यासाठी घेऊन आलो आहोत. ही चाचणी आतापर्यंत लक्षावधी लोकांनी घेतली आहे आणि त्यापासून त्यांना कल्पनातीत फायदा झाला आहे. जगभरातील मानसशास्त्रज्ञ या चाचणीचा वापर करतात.

    हा आपल्या अंतर्मनातील प्रवास आहे आणि तो आपल्यालाच करायचा आहे. विकासाच्या मार्गावर एक पाऊल टाकायचे आहे.

    अर्थात, ही चाचणी म्हणजे कुठल्याही प्रकारचा मानसशास्त्रीय किंवा वैद्यकीय सल्ला नाही हे याठिकाणी स्पष्ट करण्यात येते. सदरील लेखाचे लेखक हे qualified practitioner नाहीत. आपल्या कुठल्याही समस्ये साठी योग्य त्या तज्ञांचा सल्ला घेणे हाच उत्तम उपाय आहे.

    माधव भोपे 

    IFSC code search for Banks in India

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    IFSC Code Finder for Banks in India

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    What is an IFSC code?

    The full form of IFSC code is Indian Financial System Code. It is an 11 character alpha-numeric code  and is unique to each bank branch in India.

    The IFSC code was introduced by the Reserve Bank of India (RBI) in 2008.  It was designed to modernize and streamline banking operations, particularly for electronic funds transfers.

    The Indian Financial System Code (IFSC) has undergone a significant evolution since its inception. Over time, as the banking sector expanded and technological advancements took place, the IFSC system became an integral part of the National Electronic Funds Transfer (NEFT) and Real-Time Gross Settlement (RTGS) mechanisms. With the advent of Unified Payments Interface (UPI) and other digital payment platforms, IFSC codes have played a crucial role in ensuring secure and seamless transactions. Today, IFSC codes continue to be a fundamental component of India’s digital financial infrastructure, promoting efficient and standardized banking transactions. It is assigned by the Reserve bank of India to Banks in India.

    IFSC Code Full Form and Its Components Explained

    As mentioned above, the full form of IFSC means Indian Financial System Code. We will understand what each part of the code stands for:

    IFSC example

    First Four Characters (Alphabets) :

    The initial four characters of the IFSC code represent the bank’s name. These characters are alphabetic and help identify the respective bank associated with the transaction.

    Fifth Character (Zero) :

    The fifth character of the IFSC code is always a zero. It has been reserved for future use and is currently static across all IFSC codes.

    Last Six Characters (Alphanumeric) :

    The final six characters of the IFSC code uniquely identify the specific branch of the bank. This alphanumeric combination is crucial for directing the funds accurately to the intended recipient.

    These codes are allocated by the Reserve Bank of India (RBI) for identification purposes. This means that no two banks or their branches can have the same code.

    Importance of IFSC Codes in Banking Transactions

    Accurate Transfers :

    The IFSC code plays a vital role in ensuring that funds are routed accurately to the intended recipient’s bank branch. With the unique alphanumeric combination, it eliminates the possibility of confusion and ensures that the funds reach the correct destination.

    Electronic Transactions :

    The IFSC code is particularly essential for transactions involving National Electronic Funds Transfer (NEFT), Real-Time Gross Settlement (RTGS), and Immediate Payment Service (IMPS). These electronic fund transfer mechanisms rely on the IFSC code to facilitate secure and efficient transactions.

    Online Banking :

    In the age of digital banking , where online transactions have become the norm, the IFSC code is a key component. Individuals conducting online transactions need to enter the IFSC code to initiate fund transfers, making it a crucial element in the digital banking ecosystem. It facilitates a plethora of online transactions such as paying bills, EMIs, insurance premiums, and taxes.

    UPI Transactions :

    Even in the case of Unified Payments Interface (UPI), which has gained immense popularity for its simplicity and speed, the IFSC code plays a role when transferring funds between different banks. While UPI transactions often use mobile numbers or virtual payment addresses, the IFSC code becomes relevant in cross-bank transfers.

    International Transactions :

    While the primary function of the IFSC code is for the domestic transactions, its concept aligns with the international standards of bank branch identification. For international transactions, SWIFT codes are used, serving a similar purpose to IFSC codes on a global scale.

    Where to look for  Your Bank’s IFSC Code?

    You can see your bank’s branch IFSC code at the following places:

    On your  Cheque Book :

    IFSC cheque-2

    The IFSC code is usually printed on your bank’s cheque leaves. It is typically found at the top of each cheque leaf, either on the left or the right side.

    Bank Account Passbook :

    Check the front sheet of your bank passbook for account and branch details, including the IFSC. It is usually printed on the top right corner of the front sheet.

    Your Account Statement

    account statement

    When you view or take a print out of your account statement online, you can see the IFSC code of your branch on the statement.

    The need to search/ find the IFSC code of a bank branch:

    When you want to transfer funds to someone either in the same Bank or another bank, you will need to first mention the IFSC code of the branch, and then the particular account number to which you want to transfer the funds. So when you know the name of the bank and branch, with the help of this tool, you can find the IFSC code and the full address of the branch immediately.

    On the other hand, if you just know the IFSC code, you can find the full details of the bank, its branch and its address also with the help of this tool.

    Although there are many tools available across the internet, including RBI own website, this tool has been developed by us with great efforts, taking into account the need of the common user as well as the Bankers and other financial agencies and is very convenient to use.

    This tool uses list of 174898 IFSC codes provided by RBI  on its website updated as on 30.04.2025.

    Precautions and disclaimer:

    While going through the data available, we have found that in some cases, there are spelling mistakes- for example, the name of ‘AURANGABAD’ is mentioned as ‘AURANGABD’ in few places and AURANGABARD in one case. So you won’t get the results if you select ‘AURANGABAD’ in the drop down menu. The name of ‘BEED’ in Maharashtra is mentioned as “BID’ in some  places. The addresses of the branches have been jumbled up in case of merger of Banks.

    However, we are sure, with the help of this tool, you will be able to find the information you are looking for very easily.

    In case you find any anomalies, please inform us at goodworldmd@gmail.com so  that we can make necessary corrections.

    Disclaimer

    While we have made our best efforts to provide the user with  the latest data updated as available from RBI, users are requested to confirm the information with the respective bank before using the information provided. We accept no responsibility for the information provided on this platform and will not be responsible for any loss or damage suffered by any user, directly or indirectly by making use of the data provided on this website.

    We expect you to use this website only for reference, and please confirm from the bank directly before performing any transaction.